Hello, Public.

"Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese."

-G.K. Chesterton

Greetings, dear web-cruising friend, you have stumbled onto the first post of what will be a very interesting blog. Or, at least, if you’re interested in dry wit, philosophy, theology, high fantasy, mystery and politics, it will be interesting.

To begin, a little about Me, Myself and You. I’m from a small town in the middle of nowhere. You could probably find it on Google Earth – Middle of Nowhere, America. But I digress. In this small town, things are as much like Mayberry as they can possibly be outside of idealistic (but very good and absolutely hilarious) TV shows from the ’60s. I’m even more isolated than most Middle of Nowhere citizens, living in a house on a hill surrounded by trees, mountains, wild possums and several magical portals.



Neo-Mayberry, view to the South



The internet, most days, is my only connection with the outside world. However, that doesn’t mean that I’m out of touch with reality. I keep up with current events more than most people, especially those my age. Though my interest in politics has declined over the last few years (mostly into Deep Disgust), I do keep up with the latest Big Gov fiascos.

I have a rapacious interest in books. Right now, the current trend is murder mysteries, so expect plenty on that subject—though my long-lived obsession with The Lord of the Rings will doubtless seep through. Perhaps an occasional Ode to G.K. Chesterton’s Epicness will appear as well. Bear with those, or even better, get some Chesterton and read it.

Now.

I’m also a writer, and I’ll use some of the time that I should spend editing and novelling in telling you all about how great my writing is and what’s up with my many half-finished books. Don’t believe my bragging and believe all of my criticism.

As you’ve probably noticed by now, I use sarcasm liberally, but I can’t stand the negative tear-people-down type of sarcasm, so I try my best not to be that cynical. Yet, when used correctly (and with a British accent) sarcasm can be hilarious. And by the way, it isn't "the lowest form of wit" as the saying goes - watch the average YouTube video that has FUnNY!!!_! in the title, and you'll agree with me.

At times, I might write a random essay on something that interests me. This is very possible. I’m working my way to the SAT’s, so I need the practice. Rate them, if you like. I need the help.

So now you’ve heard about the Me and Myself, so let’s talk about You. You’re the Audience. Don’t expect to be catered to; I probably won’t be very consistent in topics. I’m writing letters to myself, really. But I love to get feedback, all the same, so even if you turn up just for the writing posts, or the political posts, or even the dry wit posts, I would love to hear from you. Just keep it civil and on topic, thanks.

In conclusion, I may write in fragments. If there are any web-cruising grammar teachers out there. Give me. A break. Please.

Half-sincerely,

Longish

Neo-Mayberry, Middle of Nowhere, America