The Bible - Episode 5 Review

Part 4

It feels very odd to be reviewing the crucifixion. It feels rather indelicate and almost blasphemous. That said, this is a production by man. It is not the actual thing. So here goes.

The episode begins in the morning, combining Peter’s betrayal with Judas’s regret (not repentance). Political drama goes on in the background, with Pilate caught between his wife and Caesar (or as Granny put it: a rock and a hard place). Mrs. Pilate’s segment is used to great effect, her grief eliciting the ironic statement from Pilate that Jesus will “be forgotten in a week.”

The Bible - Episode 4 Review

Part 3

Those of you who read my post last week will know that I have high expectations for Jesus. Of course, it’s not fair to give The Bible’s producers a break because of the intense levels of scrutiny—they knew they had to get Jesus just right, if they got anything right. So most of my criticism is focused on Diogo Morgado’s portrayal of the Son of Man. To be fair, nobody will ever be able to play Jesus correctly (whether they should even try is another subject), but regardless, there are some things one should remember if you want to do things by the Book:

1. Jesus was fully man – this means that, even if there were times that he was otherworldly, there were other moments that he was just an ordinary guy. Ordinary does not mean “sinner”, ordinary means “has a sense of humor” or rather: “doesn’t treat himself—and everything—with deadly seriousness.”
2. Jesus was fully God – this means that, despite his ordinariness, he had a few raging-holy-God-of-wrath-and-judgment moments. Usually he used this rage against the self-righteous, and his deep, reckless love, for the poor.
3. Jesus was not, in fact, an enlightened hippie – he was from a Podunk country town (almost certainly with an accent.)
4. We have no reliable information that Jesus was drop-dead gorgeous or had cute hair or a perfect nose. It’s rather possible he looked, y’know, like someone from Fiddler on the Roof, and ordinary, albeit Jewish-looking ordinary guy.

The Bible - Episode 3 Review

 Part 2

It’s a study in personality to see how the respective members of my family react to History Channel’s The Bible. Granny’s commentary about the show was interspersed with news about the neighbors and thoughts concerning the latest season of Downton Abbey. Baby, Granny’s red dog, sat and glared at us with You’re On My Couch writ large on his face. My mom and brother are the nitpickers, though Mom’s complaints make a lot more sense than Sam’s usual, “Hannah. Hannah. Herod wasn’t that fat, was he?” Mom’s question – “I can’t believe they didn’t show Nebuchadnezzar’s redemption” – made a lot more sense.

The Bible - Episode 2 Review

Part 1

It’s hard to decide whether I’m biased or not. The thing is, Hollywood is so hard to trust. “Hope for the best, prepare for the worst,” as one of the CIA dudes from the Bourne movies said, and that’s pretty much my attitude concerning The Bible series. And of course, there are the unconscious mental images of and personal speculations concerning Biblical characters that everyone carries.

But to banish that cynical note, while The Bible did not conform completely to my “best” scenario, it’s much closer to “best” and a long, long shot from “worst.” Admittedly, though, it did get a slow start, and build up to a great end. It started off with Joshua, who had about five minutes of enthusiastic The City is OURS moments, but little else. Like the first episode, this was one of the weaker aspects – over-excited characters who just think God can do no wrong. Which, of course, He can’t. But nobody feels that way all the time. Humans doubt. Humans ask God why. There wasn’t enough human weakness. All the same, the producers shot the violence and divine justice without flinching. There was no heavy-handed commentary about the Israelites taking over Canaan—it was just portrayed for the viewer to decide. (By the way, MSNBC, that’s how journalism should be done).

The Bible - Episode 1 Review

So why did my mom, my brother, and I venture into the 20-degree weather after dark, rush down to my granny’s house and put up with her yapping smelly dog, Baby, who insists on sitting on our laps for two hours? We’d heard the news that the History Channel had a new theologically-orthodox Bible series. And it was scored by the awesome Hans Zimmer. We don’t have cable, so it was time for a pilgrimage. Was it worthwhile?

Let’s face it, the Bible’s been done so many times that there’s not much you can do to make sand look different. Everybody expects bearded men, rough robes, camels, and miracles. The History Channel’s 5-part, 10-hour The Bible series is no exception. When it comes to design, though the special effects are better than most Bible movies, there several moments where I was thinking, I’ve Seen This Before.

But let’s be fair – part of the problem is that everyone has seen this before. It’s an enormous challenge to cover a book that’s 1000+ pages which is as familiar as the night sky. It’s made even harder by the fact that you have no main characters; everyone gets their bit and moves on. The only thing connecting the narrative is God and the surroundings. That said, each part was made memorable. The story of creation and the ark are intercut, with Noah narrating the tale of the Fall in a strong Scottish brogue (this, I love).