Recapping the Debate With an 81-year-old Political Junkie

Yesterday evening, I had a chance to interview an 81-year-old on one of her favorite topics: politics. A mild-mannered, middle-class white Republican widow, she lives quietly in a small town, but loves to observe the excess and drama of political theater. She chose to remain anonymous ("oh, honey, they'll come and lock me up"), but said she wanted to go by the pseudonym Jane Eyre ("no kin to" the other one), and quote her thoughts on each of the candidates who participated in the latest debate. As she was a bit sleepy and distracted, some of the answers may appear a bit more focused than others, but I found the whole thing very entertaining. She has...a unique perspective.

Ben Carson: He's awful good-looking. And nice. And very gentlemanly, a very polite gentleman -  which [are] few and far between. He is a kind and compassionate doctor. And so good-looking.

Donald Trump: So goofy. All he thinks about is money and women. Pretty women. Women with a flair for the things of the world. He has no use for us little people. We're like hobbits. He is a prune. A lot like a blown-up balloon. A hot-air balloon. (HGL: Don't ask me. I guess, the muse strikes where it will.)

Carly Fiorina: She put him in his place. Trump. I hope she brought him down a notch or two. He needs it. He shouldn't talk about us women. Where would he be if it wasn't for us women? She seems very intelligent but really strait-laced. She means business. She is a CEO.

Jeb Bush: He is the sweetest thing. But he's a Bush. And we've already had two of them. I think [they] did great, and I'm sure Jeb would follow right in their footsteps...but I don't know if he can get to the White House. He's just a little bit lacking in...(HGL: Charisma?)...charisma, that's a good word. We're not gonna use that Trump word: persona.

Marco Rubio: Oh, he's good-looking. I need to study him a little.

Ted Cruz: Don't know much about him.

Chris Christie: First of all, I think he needs to lose weight. He really has a weight problem. And he should be concerned about his health. Needs to think about his kids. He was really friendly with Mr. Obama. Really chubby. I mean chummy.

Mike Huckabee: I just recently learned that Mr. Huckabee gave up preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ to enter the field of politics. And is there anything much worse in our country than politics? I don't think any of the politicians are interested in anything but popularity and money. A big name. As soon as they're elected, they forget all their promises.

Rand Paul: He's the one that believes we ought to not go "over there." My husband used to say that over and over: "Why are we over there fighting? They've been fighting for ages and will fight on and on." If the good Lord lets time go on, [we should] stay and take care of our own people. So many people in our own country are hungry. Don't have a place to sleep. All mixed up on drugs. Just looking for an easy way out. The only easy way in life is just to trust the Lord. Remember his promises. Love him. There's no other love like that. That peace that passes all understanding.

But, another person told me that if we did that, those countries over there are gaining strength daily and if we don't have a strong military here one of these days we gonna wake up to the sound of bombs. To the sound of all those people over there that we've sent money to, we've sent guns to ...they gonna be flying over our heads a'droppin' bombs. I don't know what's gonna 'come of us.

I do know, too. Things just can't go on and on. People getting more wicked....

(HGL: What do you think about the people in Syria?) I just feel so sorry for those poor people. They got themselves in an awful predicament. I can't help feeling sorry for those that don't have a home, don't have nowhere to go. It's sad. It don't matter if they're red, black or green or what color they are. They still have a soul. They still have feelings....

John Kasich: He's that Ohio man. I don't know anything about him.

Scott Walker: I kind of believe that Scott Walker was the smartest one by far of the entire panel...because he had the good sense to drop out.

Longish